Last week, Dan Verhasselt shared something remarkable. After forty years of not crying and a lifetime of absorbing some version of, “Don’t cry. Be strong. Be a man.” he found himself weeping during a massage after the death of his wife, Sandy. For Dan, those tears mattered. They gave him a rele...

Every once in a while, someone in my grief group says something that I wish I could hand to every grieving person I meet. Recently, Dan Verhasselt shared something he has been doing since the death of his wife, Sandy. It is not a formula nor something everyone needs to do. Grief does not come wit...

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away—Florida, 1993—I was the three-quarter-time pastor of Trenton United Methodist Church. Which left me needing something to do with the other quarter time. So I did title searches. If you’ve never had the pleasure, a title search is exactly as exciting as it...

One of the most physically and emotionally exhausting things we can face after a spouse or partner dies is figuring out what to do with their stuff. What do I keep? What do I give away? What do I donate? What do I throw away? What do I do with the wedding ring? The clothes? The jewelry? The tools...

Last week, I wrote about one of my favorite reminders: It’s always OK to ask for what you need. That is true. It is also true that sometimes asking is hard. I can’t tell you how many people have said something to me along the lines of: “I wish my kids would call me more.” “I wish my friends would...